Just Shoot Me!

1997 - 2003

When Maya Gallo gets fired from her TV news writing job for making an anchorwoman cry on the air, she's forced to work for her estranged father's fashion magazine, "Blush," where her intellectual feminist ideals clash with her shallow co-workers.

Stars: George Segal, Laura San Giacomo, Enrico Colantoni, Wendie Malick, David Spade, Chris Hogan
Created by: Steven Levitan
Tags: workplace

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Episode Tropes

Season 1

Plastic Fantastic: Episode 3, "Secretary's Day" (1997). A famous plastic surgeon offers Nina a free procedure of her choice as a thank you for sending models to him over the years, and she's considering breast implants. She walks around the office wearing fake breasts just to try them out, but Maya shows her a tape of a story she did on the dangers of plastic surgery, and Nina changes her mind.
Monkeying Around: Episode 3, "Secretary's Day" (1997). Finch falls into the gorilla pit at the zoo, and a female gorilla tries to take care of him like he's her baby, and it's all caught on tape by the local news.
15 Minutes of Fame: Episode 3, "Secretary's Day" (1997). Finch is upset that everyone is making a big deal about Secretary's Day, so he storms off to the zoo and falls into the gorilla pit, sparking a media frenzy that dubs him "The Gorilla Man of New York" and lands him a spot on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, but he gets fed up with his newfound fame when Leno brings out a guy in a monkey suit to serve him a cake for Secretary's Day.
Magic Brownies: Episode 6, "Lemon Wacky Hello" (1997). Jack comes back from a trip to China and hands out some Chinese candy called "Lemon Wacky Hello." Shortly after eating it, the gang start acting strange: Finch sees snakes all over the building, Jack talks to his hand (which he calls Lester), and Nina is hunting a cowboy with eight arms who she thinks stole her wallet. When Maya accidentally knocks down the storyboard for the upcoming issue, they have to work together to reassemble the magazine in time while they're all "lemon wackied."

Season 2

Sticky Situation: Episode 1, "The Experiment" (1997). While attempting to assemble a new toy for his daughter, Hannah, Jack accidentally glues both of his hands to his desk.
Worthless Worker: Episode 2, "The Assistant" (1997). Maya hires an assistant named Cindy, who does nothing but screw things up for her, like making her late to an important meeting and copying a letter ot her boyfriend instead of Maya's proposal. Jack tells Maya to fire Cindy, but Maya refuses because she thinks Jack is too quick to get rid of people, so she covers for Cindy by doing her work for her.
Between Floors: Episode 5, "King Lear Jet" (1997). When Jack's broken automatic office door causes a power outage, Elliot and Nina get stuck in the elevator, and Nina has recently replaced the emergency phone with a bottle of vodka.
Annie Hall: Episode 6, "My Dinner with Woody" (1997). Nina writes an article called "My Dinner with Woody" about a fictional conversation with Woody Allen, and she's shocked to get a phone call from Woody Allen himself, but when he shows up at her office, she realizes he's actually a mental patient who thinks he's Woody Allen, but Maya gets caught up in pretending he's Woody and dates him anyway.
Exclusive School: Episode 7, "Twice Burned" (1997). Jack finds out that Hannah was rejected from Woodbridge Academy, which confuses him because he donated a wing to the school, so he decides to pay the headmaster a visit armed with bribes and a reference from the only person he knows who attended the school: Maya, but when he meets the headmaster, he learns that the wing he donated was to replace the one Maya burned down when she was a student.
The Old Snakes in a Can Gag: Episode 9, "Jesus, It's Christmas" (1997). Finch steals Elliot's "lucky thong lens" to get him to let Finch tag along on a Christmas beach shoot with a bunch of models. He leaves out a canister for Elliot to find, thinking it's his lens, but when he opens it, fake snakes jump out at him.
We Said No Gifts: Episode 9, "Jesus, It's Christmas" (1997). Instead of getting each other gifts for Christmas, the gang decides to pool their money and give it to Jesus, the night janitor, so he can fulfill his dream of owning his own smoothie bar called "Jesus's Juices." But Jack gets everyone thoughtful gifts anyway, sending all of them scrambling to scrape up last minute gifts for Jack. Elliot gives him back the same Cuban cigars Jack gave him, Nina gives him a lighter shaped like a gun from her purse, and Finch gives him a bag of loose tea leaves from the kitchenette ("From China. Very rare.").
Skin Deep: Episode 10, "Elliot the Geek" (1998). Elliot is going to a memorial service for his old high school teacher, and since he missed his class reunion, he wants to use the occasion to show up all his classmates, but the day of the memorial, he gets a giant zit on his nose.
Ah, the Dribble Glass: Episode 10, "Elliot the Geek" (1998). Jack has been giving Finch tips on how to dominate people, but he's started using his newfound skills for evil, so Jack gets him back using a few more tricks of the trade, including the old dribble glass.
Monkeying Around: Episode 11, "Sewer!" (1998). It's Jack's birthday, and Nina has hired the orangutan partner of his childhood matinee hero, Cowboy Pete, but he arrived a day early, so Nina has to keep him at the office until the party.
The Ascent of Stan: Episode 11, "Sewer!" (1998). When her college friend, Erin, visits with tales of her adventures uncovering human rights violations abroad, Maya feels like she sold out and wants to get back to her investigative journalism roots, so she spends the night of Jack's birthday waiting for phosphates to get dumped into the sewer for an article, but she realizes she likes "working at that stupid magazine with all those idiots" and dumps the article instead.
We Were Robbed: Episode 13, "Pass the Salt" (1998). Maya is having Jack over for dinner to prove to him that her neighborhood isn't dangerous, but when she comes home from the grocery store with food for the occasion, she realizes someone has stolen all of her furniture.
Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: Episode 13, "Pass the Salt" (1998). Finch's dad, Red, visits the office, and he's acting a little strange, taking him to see Showboat and wanting to talk. When Dennis questions Red, he tells Dennis that he knows he's gay, and he's doing everything he can to make him feel comfortable. Dennis keeps telling Red that he's not gay, but Red refuses to believe him.
Crude Craft: Episode 15, "Nina in the Cantina" (1998). Jack goes to a paint-your-own pottery place and paints an eye sore of a vase, which he gives to Finch and insists he display it prominently on his desk, but Finch hates it and keeps coming up with sneaky ways to get rid of it.
Boudoir Photo Shoot: Episode 17, "Nina's Bikini" (1998). Jack asks Elliot to take some boudoir photos of him for Allie for their anniversary. Elliot is uncomfortable but takes the photos as a favor to Jack. The proofs Elliot shows Jack feature Jack's head on someone else's body. At first, Jack is offended, but then he looks at the real photos.
Pretend We're a Couple: Episode 18, "The Kiss" (1998). Elliot takes Maya with him to check out an apartment, and the elderly landlady assumes they're a couple. To score the apartment with its crazy low rent ($200/month!!), Elliot asks Maya to pretend to be his wife at a tenants party, but Maya refuses, so Elliot asks Nina to do it, and she refuses too. After Elliot makes an excuse for why his wife can't attend, both Maya and Nina show up.
Security Arms: Episode 18, "The Kiss" (1998). Jack discovers that Finch has been renting out his parking spot, and he decides he can no longer trust him, so he installs a security camera in front of Finch's desk, but Finch spots the camera right away and responds by mooning it.
Tax Audit: Episode 20, "Jack's Old Partner" (1998). Nina is getting audited and trying to lie and cheat her way out of paying the IRS. She enlists Finch's help, but even he's no match for Janet, the IRS agent. When Nina notices that Janet seems to have the hots for Elliot, she talks him into dating her so she'll give Nina a break.

Season 3

Unwise Wisdom Teeth: Episode 1, "What the Teddy Bear Saw" (1998). Maya is having her wisdom teeth removed, so she asks Elliot to pick her up afterwards, but he forgets and stays out all night at a new night club. The next morning, Elliot rushes to Maya's apartment, and she tells him when he didn't pick her up, she ended up in a women's shelter, but Elliot takes advantage of her drug-addled state and tells her that was the plot of a movie they watched together when he picked her up.
Psycho: Episode 2, "The Mast" (1998). It's Halloween, and Dennis just saw Psycho for the first time, so he starts to think that Nina's unseen friend, Binnie, might be a figment of her imagination.
Prank War: Episode 4, "Funny Girl" (1998). Maya tries to prank Finch by hiding his soda, and Finch insists her pranks are lame because women aren't funny. Of course, this enrages Maya, who cranks up her prank game with an elaborate joke on Elliot, but what she doesn't know is that Finch is in on her plan from the beginning, and he's using it to get back at her.
Sad Singing Telegram: Episode 4, "Funny Girl" (1998). Maya wants to prove to Finch that she can pull off a practical joke, so she plans an elaborate prank on Elliot, which involves fake letters from an ex-security guard and a singing telegram with creepy lyrics.
Plastic Fantastic: Episode 4, "Funny Girl" (1998). Jack tells Nina he has some questions about plastic surgery, and she assumes he's getting work done, and after he's mistaken for Allie's father again, Jack considers doing it.
Remember Me?: Episode 4, "Funny Girl" (1998). Maya runs into a guy in an elevator who claims he went to Stanford with her. She doesn't recognize him, but she pretends she does anyway. Later, she finds out he's an actor hired by Finch as part of an elaborate practical joke.
You Screwed Over My Friend and That's Not Cool with Me: Episode 6, "The Withholder" (1998). After Courtney starts sending Finch love notes, he takes her on a trip to Jamaica, where she ditches him to sleep with a tennis pro. When Elliot hears about it, he decides to "wine and dine' Courtney, and then dump her saying, "You screwed over my friend and that's not cool with me."
Poor Imitation: Episode 7, "Puppetmaster" (1998). Maya a children's show host named Steven, who creates a new puppet character called Miss Panda, and after every one of their dates, he has Miss Panda do the same things Maya did, like showing up late and eating the last slice of pizza, but much more exaggerated so she looks like a crazy bitch.
Business Goes Bust: Episode 7, "Puppetmaster" (1998). Nina decides to open a trendy nigh club with her friend Binnie in an attempt to bring back the glory days of Studio 54. They want it to be so trendy that it has no name, no sign, and no one can find it. This proves to be a poor business strategy when on opening night, no one shows up. So the next day, Nina announces that the name of the club is now "Club Fun," and she hands out maps to its location. Nina's dream eventually goes down in flames when Binnie's flare gun ignites a velvet curtain and burns the club to the ground.
Celebrity Sandwich: Episode 9, "How Nina Got Her Groove Back" (1998). Jack wants something named after him, so Finch gets the Carnegie Deli to name a sandwich the "Jack Gallo," but all he could get was a pita with watercress and avocado, which used to be called the "Liberace."
Pathetic Christmas Tree: Episode 10, "How the Finch Stole Christmas" (1998). It's Christmas, and Elliot living A Charlie Brown Christmas in real life. He goes out to get a Christmas tree and comes back with a single skimpy branch that falls apart when he touches it.
What's My Name?: Episode 15, "Nina Sees Red: Part 2" (1999). Jack bids on what he thinks is a set of teas given to John Wayne by Ernest Hemingway. This makes him feel very tough and masculine, so he decides to give himself the nickname, "The Kid," and he puts out a memo about it, but when he wins the auction, he receives a tea set instead.
Whodunnit?: Episode 16, "Hostess to Murder" (1999). Maya hosts a murder mystery party at her apartment and convinces the whole gang to come, but things go awry when her nextdoor neighbor actually dies.
Drop Dead: Episode 16, "Hostess to Murder" (1999). During Maya's murder mystery party, her elderly neighbor, Professor Gladstone, keeps banging on the wall and yelling at her to keep the noise down. Maya gets fed up and yells back at him, after which he drops dead, and the party guests think it's all part of the game.
Hot Mic: Episode 17, "Toy Story" (1999). Finch plays a prank on Elliot for his birthday by switching the card on his gift from Maya (a video game system) with the on on his gift from Persky (a bag full of sex toys), and when Maya invites Elliot over to try out her gift, Finch hangs outside her apartment door with a parabolic microphone and screams when Elliot opens the door and yells right into the mic.
The Magician: Episode 19, "Maya's Nude Photos" (1999). Jack is enamored by Nina's new assistant because he does magic tricks, and Finch feels left out, so he tries to learn magic to get Jack's attention back on him.
Awkward Awards: Episode 20, "And the Femmy Goes To..." (1999). Nina, Maya, and Elliot are all nominated for "Femmy" awards, but Jack sneakily switched Maya's and Elliot's submissions, and neither one of them wants to win. Maya even goes so far as to write an acceptance speech that condemns the industry for praising articles like the one Jack submitted, "Cleavage Fever," but it gets mixed up with Nina's speech, and she accidentally reads it when she wins.
Play Ball: Episode 21, "Softball" (1999). The gang is pumped for the big softball game against Cosmo, but Maya doesn't want to play because she says she doesn't like competition. Everyone assumed it's because she sucks. When Jack is late to practice, Maya fills in and the gang discovers she's an incredible pitcher, but the competition gets to her and turns her into a monster.

Season 4

Limp Willy: Episode 1, "A Divorce to Remember" (1999). While trying to stop Finch and Adrienne from getting married, Maya and Elliot accidentally married each other at a mass wedding held by Nina's cult. At first, Elliot acts like it's not a big deal, but when he spends the night with a model, he's unable to perform, and the only solution is for him and Maya to get divorced.
Accidental Eavesdropping: Episode 5, "Jack Vents" (1999). Nina has a maintenance man clear out the air duct in her office, and she starts hearing Jack's therapy sessions through the vent, so she decides to use what he talks about to get him to do what she wants.
Performance Evaluations: Episode 6, "Hello Goodbye" (1999). Jack convinces Maya to do the employee performance evaluations, and when she reviews Elliot her only criticism of his work is "too many sunsets," and he loses his shit, just as Jack knew he would.
Painting Party: Episode 7, "An Axe to Grind" (1999). Maya invites the gang to a painting party to re-paint her apartment, and they all say they'll show up except Elliot, who tells her that the others just plan to come up with last-minute excuses to get out of it.
Home Sweet Office: Episode 11, "Prescription for Love" (2000). Due to both of them getting kicked out of their apartments, Nina and Finch find themselves sleeping at the office, and their propinquity leads to their becoming good friends, but only until they find new places to live.
Sticky Situation: Episode 11, "Prescription for Love" (2000). While she and Finch are pranking Maya by gluing her office supplies, Nina accidentally glues her hand to a mug.
Happy Loving Couples: Episode 17, "With Thee I Swing" (2000). Maya and Elliot have no friends in common, so when they meet a nice couple, Ben and Lori, in a restaurant, they invite them to go to a "swing club" with them. While Maya and Elliot were talking about a swing dancing club, Ben and Lori have a...different interpretation, so when they all meet up at Maya's apartment, and Maya and Elliot see that Ben and Lori have stripped down to their skivvies, Maya suggests they "give them half an hour" to "do whatever it is they gotta do, and then we'll ask them if they wanna go swing dancing."
Bottle Blonde: Episode 22, "Finch on Ice" (2000). Maya bleaches her hair for an article, and it's all fun and games until she realizes Elliot is fantasizing about being with a blonde stranger while they're in bed.

Season 5

Stay Away from My Son: Episode 3, "Mum's the Word" (2000). Nina dates Robert, an actor who's shooting a TV show outside the office, and he seems perfect until she meets his mother. She seems like a sweet old lady until the second Robert's back is turned, when she tells Nina to stay away from him or she'll die.
Secret Criminal Past: Episode 3, "Mum's the Word" (2000). After Maya pesters him to vote, Elliot reveals he can't because he's a convicted felon; when he was 19, he stole a mail truck and took it for a joyride. He asks Maya not to tell anyone, but soon the whole office knows, and Elliot thinks they're looking at him suspiciously.
School Reunion: Episode 5, "Choosing to be Super" (2000). Maya meets up with her high school best friend ahead of their reunion. Just before the big event, he confesses to her that he spread a rumor about her that made everyone in the school hate her because he was in love with her. When she turns him down, he goes on stage at the reunion and tells everyone she's now a prostitute.
Glen or Glenda: Episode 6, "Brandi, You're a Fine Girl" (2000). Finch's childhood best friend, Burt, is in town, and he can't wait to catch up. When he goes to the bar to meet Burt, he runs into a beautiful woman, who tells him she's Burt. At first, Finch is shellshocked, but soon he starts to develop an awkward crush on his old buddy.
Teen Queen: Episode 7, "The First Thanksgiving" (2000). Nina hears about a peer in the fashion world who got fired because her boss thought she was "old and out of touch," then notices Jack complimenting the fashion sense of a young new employee and starts to feel threatened, so she shows up to Thanksgiving at Jack's house in the Hamptons dressed in hip new clothes with a blue streak in her hair and a young punk date named Slam.
Bad Bet: Episode 9, "Dog Day Afternoon" (2000). Every day for years, Jack tells Finch to buy him a lottery ticket with the same number, and today it finally won him $50,000. The only problem is Finch didn't buy the ticket. He never does. He buys candy. So Finch and Nina put on an elaborate scheme to make Jack lose the ticket through an open window, but it backfires.
Dog Gone Blues: Episode 9, "Dog Day Afternoon" (2000). A dog follows Maya to work, and she and Elliot decide to keep him, but Finch convinces Elliot that the dog is a test to see if he's ready to have a baby, and Elliot gets spooked. He pretends he's not responsible enough to take care of the dog, but when Maya finds the dog's real family, Elliot doesn't want to let him go, and he even tries to steal the dog back.
Raging Bull&@!: Episode 10, "Finch and the Fighter" (2001). Finch falls for a boxer named Kelly "The Big Hurt" Corrigan, who warns him about her "jealous ex." Her ex turns out to be a another boxer named Maria, who wants to kick Finch's ass.
Bullies Don't Back Down: Episode 10, "Finch and the Fighter" (2001). Finch's boxer girlfriend, Kelly, has a jealous ex boxer girlfriend named Maria, who wants fight Finch so she can take Kelly back. Finch is terrified of Maria, but Jack convinces him to to fight her by telling him that "bullies always back down when you stand up to them," which he later tells Nina is just a "theory" of his. Of course, Jack is wrong, and Maria is more than willing to face off against Finch in the ring.
Accidental Porno: Episode 13, "The Proposal: Part 2" (2001). While watching Jack's new satellite TV, Finch stops on a pornographic movie and recognizes the set as Jack's office. Nina confesses to him that she allowed a director to shoot what he said was a corporate film in Jack's office for money, but the film turned out to be a porno. Finch takes advantage of the situation to get the director to shoot his script.
Surprise Prostitute: Episode 14, "The Auction" (2001). Elliot and Maya recently broke up, and Maya is brining a date to Jack's charity auction, so Elliot is desperate to round up a date of his own at the last minute. He asks Nina to find a date for him, and she finds a plastic surgeon, but the doctor cancels at the last minute, so Nina hires a high class escort to go with him instead, but she neglects to tell Elliot.
Auction Mishap: Episode 14, "The Auction" (2001). Jack holds a charity auction and lets Finch be the auctioneer, but when he throws away a pair of dog tags Finch gave him as a present, Finch gets pissed and deliberately sabotages the auction by making all of Jack's items seem worthless.
Make-a-wish: Episode 16, "Sid & Nina" (2001). To convince Nina to stay at a bar mitzvah he's DJing, Finch tells her it's a volunteer party because Sid, the birthday boy, is dying.
Neighborhood Watch: Episode 17, "Where's Poppa?" (2001). To keep Elliot from kicking him out of his apartment, Finch pretends they got robbed, but his plan backfires when Elliot becomes paranoid, keeps him up all night and makes him join the neighborhood watch and patrol the streets until 3am with a grumpy old man.
Sugar Mama: Episode 20, "Sugar Momma" (2001). Famous romance novelist, Allison Spencer, is serializing her next novel in Blush, and when she meets Finch, she starts giving him lavish gifts in exchange for sleeping with her. At first Jack and Elliot are high-fiving him, but it soon becomes clear that Allison is scary controlling, and Elliot and Maya try to convince Finch to end it. When Allison tries to lend Finch out to her friend for the night, he finally tells her off, but then he changes his mind and goes off with her to Cape Cod.

Character Tropes

Fish out of Water: Maya Gallo - Played by Laura San Giacomo.
The Office Weird Guy: Dennis Finch - Played by David Spade.
Unseen Character: Binnie
Unseen Character: Baxter
Mimbo: Derek - Played by Hamilton von Watts.
Hyper Honey: Cindy - Played by Cheri Oteri.
Standard Nerd: Glenn - Played by J.P. Manoux.
Fallen Childhood Hero: Cowboy Pete - Played by Patrick Cranshaw in season 2, episode 11, "Sewer!" (1998).
Washed Up Ex-partner: Herb - Played by Tom Poston in season 2, episode 20, "Jack's Old Partner" (1998).
Morality Police: Dean Logan - Played by Terry Roads in season 4, episode 19, "Blinded by the Right" (2000).
Mama's Boy: Robert Gallatin - Played by Richard Burgi in season 5, episode 3, "Mum's the Word" (2000).
Smother: Lillian Gallatin - Played by Eve Brenner in season 5, episode 3, "Mum's the Word (2000).